Here's to another sleepless night...

Thank god for having next weekend off...

I'm ready for being surrounded by friends and good times...

A few drinks wouldn't hurt either...




Another night with things left unsaid...

I'm off...

I know the kind of person I am. The things I offer and the things I will do especially for those I love, so why can't people undersatnd that with me too little too late doesn't work. I sometimes think how people can be so ridiculous and inconsiderate. Maybe I just care too much. Is that bad? Or is it that I just feel you can never give too much. I hate myself for feeling the emotions I do and for not figuring it out cause everyday is getting deeper and deeper. I wish I didn't care, I really wish I didn't. It just seems easier that way...

All I know is that whatever way it all works out...

The bottom line is...

I hope it works out...

Confusing???

Yea, well that makes senses since I'm a ridiculous mess...

I think the scariest part is thinking you have it all figured out and then waking up and realizing you don't have shit figured out...

Goodnight, tomorrow's another day :/

My life is a whirlwind of emotions. I want to just curl up and hide under a rock. Pull me out in about a month...

Leaving for Vegas in a few hours. This weekend should be quite interesting and so much fun...

1. Do you still talk with the first person you kissed?
Haha nope, I rather not remember it either

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Eww, gross

3. Are you obsessed with someone?
No but I LOVE my boo

4. What is the best thing about your job?
The people and the free food

5. Do you like more than one person right now?
No

6. What was the last thing you ate
BJ's pizza

7. Did you get any compliments today?
I actually did. A mexican lady liked my hair at the beach and had to speak to Cindy cause I couldn't understand spanish. It was nice...

8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
If all goes well, Vegas next week with everybody

9. When was the last time you kissed someone?
June 30, when my boo left

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
Both

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
yeah I love IKEA

12. What kind of a car do you drive?
06' VW

13. If you could have one super power what would it be?
To get rid of people who bothered me, haha. Or to be invisible or something

14. Where have you lived most of your life?
Cali

15. Why is the sky blue?
Cause it's pretty

16. When was the last time you took a long drive?
Today. Going to the beach was beast.

17. What's your favorite smell?
New cars, good food, and whatevers

18. What is your least favorite sound?
Nails on a chalkboard

19. Are you moody?
Haha fuck yes

20. Favorite movie of all time?
I have alot...

21. Have you ever done anything hurtful to a classmate?
Duh

23. Have you ever played spin the bottle?
Yup but it was never like for real

24. Have you ever toilet papered someone's house?
No

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
I guess

26. Have you ever gone camping?
Haha yeah and it was kick ass

27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's friend?
No

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
Haha no

29. Have you ever gone streaking?
Eww

30. Have you ever had a stalker?
Sorta

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Nope

32. How many hours a day do you watch TV?
I watch TV but only cause I'm an insomniac

33. Have you ever gone to a party?
Ok yes

34. Have you ever been in love?
I'm in LOVE

35. Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend?
You can say that

36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Of course

37. Have you ever been out of the U.S.?
Yup

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Eww, gross

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a months straight?
Haha no, thank god, or my hair dresser would be dead

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food?
Sadly yes

41. Last song you listened to?
New J.T. It's my ringtone

42. Have you ever spied on someone?
Haha I guess

43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
Nope

44. What one item do you never leave home without?
My sidekick or make-up

45. Who was the last person who called you?
My boo. He's in Ohio.

46. When was the last time you slept for 12 hours straight?
I sleep in everyday

47. Have you ever been cheated on by someone?
Yeah but who cares. I just see them now and they have shit going on.

48. Have you ever stolen anything?
I don't steal

49. Have you ever consumed egg nog?
Uhh no

50. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
Anywhere as long as John was home :(

Well were already into July and time is just flying by. My Summer so far has been swell with a few minor exceptions. My boyfriend is still on the road and he won't be back for another month. I've been sad but doing exceptionally well, I think, with the help of my friends. I've just been trying to get out as much as possible to keep busy. Phone conversations with him make me sad and wish he were home but I keep telling myself of all the great oppurtunites he's getting, so I'm on board.

I finally got my new sidekick 3 last week. It set me back a good 4 bills but I'm in love. My sidekick 2 just needed to be retired, although it treated me quite well.

On another note I went to warped tour in Pomona on Friday and had the BEST luck ever. Scored backstage passes and chilled at the BBQ. Met so many bands and cool people and had so much fun. I'm going again tomorrow with everybody so it should be interesting. I didn't have work practically this whole week cause I start training Thursday so I've been hitting the malls. Work is going good. Getting moved up after only being there for 3 months ain't bad at all. I also went to school today to turn in registration papers. I'm just trying to get everything situated and not be a lazy ass anymore.

So yeah Summer so far had been great. A little too hot but good.

My boyfriend left yesterday for tour and I won't be seeing him until August 14. What I'm going to do for 6 weeks, I have no idea. I already know this is going to suck. Alot!!!

Well Me and John are back from our 2 week trip to Hawaii and we both want to go back so bad. For some reason this time being home feels weird. I was so sad to leave and it didn't help that both of my sisters stared to cry which made me cry and not want to leave even more. I just love spending time with them.

So for the whole 2 weeks our days consisted of eating, shopping, tanning, and being at the beach a whole lot. It was so nice to just not have to worry about anything. I also spent my birthday there which turned out great. John got me new Dior sunglasses, a Betsey Johnson bracelet, and a Kathy Van Zeeland purse which ain't too shabby for my 20th birthday. Oh and we can't forget about all the cute stuff Kitty got me from H&M. Yeah so all in all my birthday was a good one.

Since I flew in Sunday morning I already started working the day I got back. I just wish I was back in Hawaii so I wouldn't have to work and be alone since John is leaving this Friday for tour. What the hell am I suppose to do without seeing him for 6 weeks? I don't think it has actually hit me that I won't be seeing him so it'll be interesting to see just how I act. When he gets back it will be our 3 year anniversary and we're not sure what we're doing yet. I want to plan a San Fran trip and this guy says he wouldn't mind going back to Hawaii so we'll see what happens.

I also haven't seen any of my friends since I work every fucking day and haven't had a chance to catch up. This weekend for sure though. I miss all your faces.

DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY

-HONESTLY SECTION-

1. Honestly, what color are your underwear?
Black Paul Frank boy briefs

2. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
How bored I am

3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
This survey and watching Friends

4. Honestly, what did you do today?
Hung out with John, went to work, and now home

5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
Good enough

6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Eaten bad food

7. Honestly, have you watched cable?
Yeah

8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
Yes, Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls cause her body is banging

9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
John

10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
Eww, no

11. Honestly, what is your mood right now?
Soooo bored

12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?
I wish

13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?
John

14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
Some

15. Honestly, do you have a friend you dont actually like?
No, haha. I love them even if they make me mad sometimes

16. Honestly, who/what do u want to hug right now?
John

17. Honestly, are you loyal?
Yes

18. Honestly, are you in denial?
No

19. Honestly, would you rather be having sex rite now?
No, I'm pretty tired

20. Honestly, does someone like you?
I don't know

21. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
No


-ANGER SECTION-

1. What do you do when you're mad?
Kick ass

2. What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
Gotten in a fight

3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
Yeah

4. Ever hurt anyone physically when you were mad?
Yeah

5. Do you curse when you're mad?
I cuss all day everyday. It's a bad habit

-CRYING SECTION-

1. When was the last time you really cried your heart out?
At my uncle's funeral a few weeks ago

2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yeah

3. Do you cry when you get an injury?
Depends


-HAPPY SECTION-

1. Are you normally a happy person?
Yes

2. What can make you happy?
John, friends, money, shopping, alot

3. Does being with your friends make you happy?
Yeah

-SELF ESTEEM SECTION-

1. Is your self-esteem extremely low?
No

2. Do you believe in yourself?
Most of the time

3. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you deny that you are?
No, I just say thank you

4. Are you one of those people that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?
I can lose a few pounds